It must seem as if neglect has set in as this blog has remained silent. It’s been in part, I’m working on a memoir that’s taken up every ounce of creative energy, leaving this creative endeavor abandoned. It’s also been part grief. When my mentor died this June, I knew I was grieved but what I didn’t know is how deeply grieved I became. Grief steals from me, words. I cannot write when I’m in grief. Even my memoir writing suffered as my lack of production goes beyond writer’s block. It’s like the grief is in my bones, my body, my brain. There is nothing to come out of me and be created but unlike writer’s block, there is a sense that it’s okay.
It reminds me of winter. Of the dormancy required before the next harvest. I’ve been in a winter and though I’m still in it, I’ve gotten the sense that spring is coming.
May you find a peace that passes all understanding with what has happened in 2013 and may you approach 2014 with open hands, confident that our Lord and Savior will continue to be with you and guide you in the waters to come.
I leave you with a favorite quote from, Cutting for Stone, a novel filled with so much more than words creating a story. From page 351 with the context of a legend about a man who tried to “get rid of his slippers” only to find himself sentenced to a life in jail,
[narrator] “I realized that my father’s absence is our slippers. In order to start to get rid of your slippers, you have to admit they are yours, and if you do, then they will get rid of themselves….[now from the narrator’s adoptive father,] “I hope one day you see this as clearly as I did in Kerchele [jail]. The key to your happiness is to own your slippers, own who you are, own how you look, own your family, own the talents you have, and own the ones you don’t. If you keep saying your slippers aren’t yours, then you’ll die searching, you’ll die bitter, always feeling you were promised more. Not only our actions, but also our omissions, become our destiny.”
I’ll see you in the new year.
Peace and Grace to you,